C-19: A Journey Around the Mountain

As a therapist, I think about the paths we take and the ways we experience change. Most of us would like for change to be linear, and always moving towards progress; experience teaches us that the path to change takes many other shapes and that progress isn’t easy to see.

In one metaphor for change, picture the following: There is a mountain, roughly cone-shaped, with a road going to the top. Because the mountain is steep, the road starts at very bottom and the car drives around the lower base of the mountain, slowly making its way to the top of the mountain as it climbs higher and higher with each rotation around the mountain. Also, picture that one side of the mountain faces a beautiful scene, and the sun shines brightly on this side, making this the "light" side. On the other side, the mountain is in "darkness" as the sun cannot reach it, and the road is rocky and even treacherous in places. 

I use this imagery to discuss the way we can make changes and take a journey toward healing during our lives. We start on our healing path at the bottom of the mountain, on the dark side. As we drive, we eventually find ourselves on the light side, with all of the love, wellness, and success that this entails. However, as we continue on, we will come back to the dark side again. While we may feel familiar feelings or see similar sights, we are no longer in the same place on the mountain that we were when we began. We are, in fact, one rotation above where we started, and one rotation closer to the top of the mountain. We have access to new tools and experiences that are helping us continue to go on, even in the darkness. Likewise, as we keep driving and go back to the light side of the mountain, we are not at the same point of abundance that we were on the first rotation; we have gained new skills, experiences, perspectives, and relationships.

In this model of change, there is an awareness of change occurring over time and a message to hold onto hope in the dark times of the journey. This model encourages people to complete stages of work, as they are able to do so, and accounts for how we may feel like we have gone back at points. For instance, I have seen clients with childhood trauma begin to address it in early adulthood, but then do more detailed work when they enter a first serious relationship or have a child, because their new life stages bring up another element of the journey.

While this is an familiar metaphor for me, it is taking on new meaning in this time of the pandemic. As my city moves into sheltering-in-place, there is another ripple of adjustment and anxiety. I’ve noticed several folks comment that they will be “doing fine” and then have a wave of panic and feel unnerved. I think that will be common during this journey. We’ll have days of great mental balance and growth. We’ll have moments or hours or days where we don’t think we can continue with this new challenge. The piece to remember is that we are on a new height on the mountain in each experience, whether we are stable and growing or panicked and shaken. I invite you to remember and note the gains you have made on the mountain so far.

See you tomorrow.